I didn't really realize how stressed I've been lately until I went to BayCon.
Well, that's not entirely true. I did come to a realization last week that work is stressing me out more than it should, and had a talk with my boss's boss about it. It felt good to get some things off my chest, and I think the upcoming follow-up conversations will be productive, to a degree. But there are still a few things that are very much up in the air.
So BayCon was a breath of fresh air. I got to see a lot of people I very rarely get to see. I ran in to a few people I haven't seen in years (who had very interesting stories to tell). And I made some really amazing new friends. The kind of people you instantly know you'll be keeping for decades, rather than months or years.
But mainly, I got to be myself. At work, lately, I've been a tangled mass of pent up passion, nervousness and frustration. At home, I've been exhausted, distracted and unfocused. And socially, I've been a bit of a hermit. That's not me. That's the hollow shell of me that keeps shit together while the inner me makes course corrections. It's not a big deal. It happens every so often. And it gets easier, the earlier I can recognize it for what it is.
So now I need a vision quest. I need to get away from the world I'm currently saturated in, to get some perspective, reflect on my options, and decide where I want to go next. Or, more precisely, who I want to be.
Luckily, it just so happens that Valhalla is this coming weekend. And Bill, bless his heart, is willing to gatelist me for the weekend. A weekend on holy ground, surrounded by My Kind, with the therapeutic smell of pine and wood fire all around. This could be just what the doctor ordered!
Anyone going to Valhalla this weekend and want to carpool?