Here we go again. I wonder where this one will lead…

I didn't really realize how stressed I've been lately until I went to BayCon.

Well, that's not entirely true. I did come to a realization last week that work is stressing me out more than it should, and had a talk with my boss's boss about it. It felt good to get some things off my chest, and I think the upcoming follow-up conversations will be productive, to a degree. But there are still a few things that are very much up in the air.

So BayCon was a breath of fresh air. I got to see a lot of people I very rarely get to see. I ran in to a few people I haven't seen in years (who had very interesting stories to tell). And I made some really amazing new friends. The kind of people you instantly know you'll be keeping for decades, rather than months or years.

But mainly, I got to be myself. At work, lately, I've been a tangled mass of pent up passion, nervousness and frustration. At home, I've been exhausted, distracted and unfocused. And socially, I've been a bit of a hermit. That's not me. That's the hollow shell of me that keeps shit together while the inner me makes course corrections. It's not a big deal. It happens every so often. And it gets easier, the earlier I can recognize it for what it is.

So now I need a vision quest. I need to get away from the world I'm currently saturated in, to get some perspective, reflect on my options, and decide where I want to go next. Or, more precisely, who I want to be.

Luckily, it just so happens that Valhalla is this coming weekend. And Bill, bless his heart, is willing to gatelist me for the weekend. A weekend on holy ground, surrounded by My Kind, with the therapeutic smell of pine and wood fire all around. This could be just what the doctor ordered!

Anyone going to Valhalla this weekend and want to carpool?


  1. What is Valhalla? I sort of have other plans, but they’re not set in stone.

    REgardless, you should end your hermitage by hanging out with the Julia. She is sad and neglected up in the North Bay with no one to love her. (Can I make the puppy dog eyes now? You know I love the puppy dog eyes.)

    • Valhalla is a ren faire in South Lake Tahoe.

      You should start going to the various dance events more often. That way you’re surrounded by non-sad people and it gets your blood flowing. That’s going to be part of my prescription.

      • I’d like to, but the ones in San Jose are about a two hour drive there (thanks to traffic) and another hour back. For a three hour dance. That if I stay until it ends, when it ends at midnight…which is really bad for my sleep schedule. (Particularly as I get back at one, which means that I don’t end up sleeping until about 2-3).

        The ones in Oakland are a bit better, as it’s more like an hour/half hour there and back. But they’re small, and the last one I was at had like two people under the age of 40. Which honestly was just depressing.

        So if you can find a few dance events that won’t wreck the sleep schedule I’m trying to establish (asleep by 11-12, and waking up at 7 am…maybe 8 on weekends), and that are lively and have lots of people who are within the target 23-35 age range, I’ll go. But my enthusiasm at being a decade younger than anyone else in the room, other than a small clique who pretty much ignore me and everyone else, is less than motivational.

  2. That sounds like something I would want to go to… however I know nothing about it and promised a friend I’d help him move this weekend.

    • You should try and make it up next year. Or next weekend, actually, since it’s a two-week faire. It’s a great faire.

      But for a carpool buddy, I’d need someone who’s gatelisted, since I intend to stay for the weekend rather than just a day trip.

  3. Unfortunately I cannot offer carpool or anything of the sort, but I hope that you have a wonderful time and find the peace and centering you’re searching for.

    • Thanks, dear. Valhalla is one of a few places I’ve used for vision quests before. And I always leave behind a few handy tools to help the next time. :)

    • It’s a lucky thing you live a stone’s throw away from me now. No excuse for us not to see each other more often. Well, except that stupid “too busy to think straight” thing we’ve both got going. But we definitely need to get together for a catch up lunch/dinner again soon!

      Love ya, sweetie!

  4. Well I can’t carpool with you, but I’ll see you up there. My life lately has been filled with a number of Blasts From the Past (TM). I sort of wonder if this weekend will continue the trend? You being there might indicate that yes, it’s pretty damn likely! When was the last time you did faire?

    • Yeah, it’s been a while. I did gatelist one night of Northern last year, but I think the last small faire I can remember attending was Kerney Park, several years ago. The one where they had the full sized trebuchet. :)

      How much room will you have in the truck on your way back? Maybe I can bring your bookcases up to you. Or at least drop them off at mom’s place on the way, so you can pick them up at your leisure. If nothing else, someone has movies coming their way!

      • I only ever went to Kearny Park once, and it was a long time ago– I missed the full-sized trebuchet!

        I might have some room in my truck bed, but a lot depends on how big the bookcases are– I’ll have a futon back there, and Aaron’s stand-up bass takes up a LOT of room!

        Are you driving up on Friday night or Saturday morning? If it’s Friday night, you can always stop in at my place on the way there (where you are welcome to crash overnight if you like, BTW), since I’m not leaving ’till morning.

  5. Vision Quest……

    I see you watching sci fi and being surrounded by people who love you just the way you are!

    No more hermit! Only goofy sexy Mal!

  6. The kind of people you instantly know you’ll be keeping for decades, rather than months or years.

    *is grinning like an idiot right now and dancing*

  7. I understand the being locked up part, seems Ive got some of the things I very much want in life and yet still very emotionally numb

    I cant believe Valhalla is now, I cant believe how many years its been sicne I enjoyed a weekend of faire. Have a great time, Valhalla was always one of my favorites (besides teh drive of course ;) )


    If by carpool you mean you drive and I pay for gas!

    I was just about to write a post about how I really want to go to Valhalla but can’t find a ride! I am already gate-listed, and probably have a ride home, but just need to get up there.

    Call me ASAP! (send me a message if you don’t have my number)

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